Clutter and Order

I've been praying the word Order over my life for almost two years and the word Author over my life for almost one year.  I have been focusing on unrushing my schedule and my life for a while now.  God has been so helpful in the ways that He is unrushing me, showing me His perfect order and how He is the author of my story.  When I begin to fall back into my old ways of busy-ness, He has gently reminded me of where I've gone again.  And because He is good, He shows me what I need to do to make changes.  Although sometimes I'm afraid to make the changes.  As much as I try to live to please Him only, I fall back into trying to please others sometimes.  I get stuck when I worry about what others think.  I feel more anxious and somewhat paralyzed.  Fear is where the enemy wants me to live.  And I refuse!

This last week has been a really busy week for me with some extra stresses and distractions for which I wasn't prepared.  Some of the things that happened caused a lot of fear and anxiety.  I have spent less time this week reading devotionals and my Bible, but much more time in constant prayer.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says: Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.

This week has shown me I can live out these verses.  I have relied on knowing that the joy of the Lord is my strength and been able to laugh at some things and focus on the positives much sooner than other stressful times in the past.  I have been crying out to God at every step - definitely praying ALL the time!  And I've been thankful.  Thankful for all that I am learning in the midst of the stress and for the people that He has brought into my life to walk with me through these times.  Thankful for the  wisdom that He provides in many ways.  Thankful for understanding and grace.  Thankful for feeling emotions.  Thankful for the ability to communicate.  

Over the weekend,  I had a longer than usual, uninterrupted quiet time and it was really nice.  One of the devotionals I read started with Hebrews 12:2a Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.  Such a great reminder for me all the time.  When I keep my eyes on Him, the stress/distraction/anxiety doesn't seem so big anymore and it doesn't consume me.

That devotional ended with  a link to a song which really spoke to me.  I'm including a link and the lyrics below.  I encourage you to listen to it.  It is beautiful.  

Uncluttered by Gwen Smith 

Another day of way too much to do

Another list of things I can't get to

Feel like I'm running but I'm losing ground

Never quite enough of me to go around

If I could strip away the noise of all the voices calling me

I'd go running to the silence where I could hear God speak

So I'm cleaning out some closets, tearing down some walls

Things I've never needed that have been there way too long

Give myself completely with nothing in between

Like the kind of love He has for me

Cause I want my love for Him to always be ... uncluttered

If faith is just believing with the heart

then tell me why sometimes it seems so hard.

I know that I trust Him and live like it's true

But still I wonder if there's more that I can do

I want to Understand His ways

I want to follow in His steps

So daily I surrender

Until there's nothing left

So I'm cleaning out some closets, tearing down some walls

Things I've never needed that have been there way too long

Give myself completely with nothing in between

Like the kind of love He has for me

Cause I want my love for Him to always be ... uncluttered

I can think of many areas of my life that I want to unclutter still and as I look around my house, I can get overwhelmed easily.  But I have been reminded in some out of the ordinary ways this past week that as long as I keep my focus on Him, everything will be okay.  He provides perfect Order and is the Author of it all.  And I'm so thankful.


Warrior Sisters, say that again, May our faith continue to grow and may our love for Him be uncluttered!

Slow Down and Show Up

I've spent time praying about my relationship with my children lately for many reasons.  I love both of them dearly and enjoy them, but was finding too many moments of not feeling a lot of joy too.  I realized I was often distracted by my own thoughts or to-do list and not fully present when with them.  I have asked God to reveal to me what might be in the way of me not being able to be present with them and enjoy them.  And of course, God listens to my prayers.  He provides answers although not always in the ways I might anticipate!

One of the major things I was already aware of was busyness.  Just. being. busy.  Too much going on!  So I have prayed against busyness.  I have asked God to unrush me and my life and to slow me down.  And I am seeing each day how He is doing that.  Of course some of it is up to me and the choices I make.  I have to use the word "no".  But He is creative and good.  

A few weeks ago, my youngest asked if I would walk to pick him up from school and I told him I would.  The first day I could have done this, I didn't because I was trying to do too many things before I picked him up and ran out of time.  I showed up in the car pick-up line.  He was clearly disappointed :(  I was convicted and decided I would make it more of a priority the next opportunity I had.  So, the next day I picked him up, I walked to the school.  He was delighted!  :)  The smile on his face was priceless!

We took our time walking home.   I asked him questions.   I took time to listen.  I was fully present with him.  It was beautiful.  I found great JOY in slowing down and looking at the leaves.  We stopped to step on them.  We stopped to take pictures of leaves and flowers.  We smelled things.  It was delightful.  He said he liked it a lot and wanted me to do it again.  When I asked what he liked about walking, he said "when we drive in the car, everything goes by fast.  When we walk, we slow down and look at all of God's beautiful creations."  Oh, how young ones often speak truth so clearly!

"10. Show Up - Most of us go through life half-present. But your child has only about 900 weeks of childhood with you before he leaves your home.  He'll be gone before you know it.  Try this as a practice:  When you're engaged with your child, just be right here, right now.  You won't be able to do it all the time.  But if you do it every day for a bit, you'll find yourself doing it more and more. Because you'll find it creates those moments with your child that make your heart melt."  - this was #10 from an article titled 10 Habits to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Child on a parenting blog

I have been doing little things like this more since then and really enJOYing the moments.  I feel deeper connections with both of my children and I feel blessed.  Slowing down and showing up to be the mom I want to be is important for my children and for me.  I'm thankful that Father God does this for us too!  He is always ready to spend time with us, to listen to us, to share joy with us, to delight in us!  Thank you Jesus.

Say that again Warrior Sisters - slow down and show up and find the JOY in relationships!

Traveling and Light

I've been fortunate to do some traveling this summer.  In June I went to Alaska.  I have always dreamed of going to Alaska.  I had been praying for a long time about opportunities for my husband and I to serve together and also for God to show me how he wants to use me in our church.  My husband has been quite involved with the youth and we were both asked to assist in chaperoning the youth mission trip to Alaska.  I was very excited yet also felt some insecurities about going.  We have children and I am self-employed so being away for 10 days took some planning.  

I didn't know many of the youth that were going on the trip and I wondered how I would connect with them.  I don't consider myself "high maintenance" yet I am particular about some things...and I'm learning to let go about some of my particularities.  I wasn't sure I'd be ok with not doing my own cooking and choosing my food and then God had the youth director ask me to help plan the meals.  I don't mind not sleeping in my bed although after 9 nights of church floors and an occasional random couch, I was happy to come home to my bed again!  I love to camp and be outdoors so going a day or two without a shower isn't a big deal - good thing since we only showered 3 times in 10 days.  I like to wake early and have quiet time to start my day and most days God faithfully woke me up before the sleepy teenagers!  God provided many ways to connect with the kids through games, conversations, preparing meals, small groups, large group discussions and more.  He worked it all out!

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

 Ephesians 3:20-21 (The Message)

God has creative ways of answering prayers and helping us live out our dreams that are part of His will for our lives.  I never imagined that I would spend 10 days with a group of 4 adults and 26 teenagers with the opportunity to serve others in Alaska, driving around in 15 passenger vans taking in all the beauty of His amazing creation!  It was a blessing in so many ways.  I remain in awe at the beauty of His artwork - you can see a little in these pictures.

On a boat with our youth director/friend who planned the trip

Did I mention our trip was in June?  That means the days are very long in Alaska.  We had plenty of light to accomplish our service projects each day and to see the beauty around us.  There was daylight until after midnight!  We went to sleep in the light and woke in the light.

Jesus once again addressed them: "I am the world's Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in."

  John 8:12 (The Message)

Just last week we were able to get away as a family to the Oregon coast.  I love the ocean, the beach, jumping the waves, searching for seashells, exploring tide pools and building sand castles.  I love the sound of the crashing waves and how small I feel next to the enormous ocean.   I'm thankful for the time we had to play and relax and just get away.

My husband and I were both able to connect with old friends one day.  We met at a lighthouse and explored the nearby area and beach with our children and friends.  We even toured inside the lighthouse and heard about it's history.  It was very interesting and I thought about how many people's lives have been impacted and even saved by the light provided from the lighthouse.   I imagined being on a boat on the ocean in the dark or in a storm and how thankful I would be for the light to guide me back to shore and the safety of a harbor.  This led me to think about Jesus and how thankful I am that He is the light of the world and how He provides safety and refuge.  And that led me to think of one of my favorite verses which is from an old Amy Grant song, Thy Word...

Looking up into the Fresnel lens of the light - made of thousands of pieces and weighing 2 tons!

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path

Psalm 119:105 (KJV)

By your words I can see where I am going; they throw a beam of light

 on my dark path

Psalm 119:105 (The Message)

Warrior Sisters, say that again -- He is the light of the world and shines for all to see.  He is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine.  Let's dream big!

Time for Life and Time for Death

Yesterday was a day that the Lord made.  Any day that He makes, I will rejoice in.  But yesterday was also sad.  We had to say good-bye to our dear pet, Ringo.  He recently turned 12 and his life has been a blessing to us.  And full of many adventures.

Ringo was such a sweet, mellow black lab.  He got pretty sick this past week and as I sat with him on the kitchen floor one morning, I journaled about all the aspects of him that I was thankful for.  The list was long!  It included things like: his ever hopefulness that he might find some food, his Jedi-like ways of using the force to get a treat, his water slobbies all over the kitchen floor, his gentle nature with all children and creatures, how he would jump up on me during dance parties in our living room or while my husband and I would hug, his soft ears that he loved to have rubbed, and his wagging and thumping tail.  As I journaled and praised God for his life, I also asked for wisdom and discernment in our continued care of Ringo.

Earlier this week, I was reviewing some verses in Genesis.

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:26-27

So I am made in God's image and his likeness.  And he has instructed me to rule over creatures.  Wow.  That's big.  And I'm little.  Just me.  But I know I am full of the Holy Spirit which guides me and I worship a God who is loving and grants wisdom to all who ask.  Ringo really struggled through his last night here on earth.  It was hard to witness each time I woke up and checked on him.  I knew when I woke up and saw him in the morning that it was time to let him go.  My husband knew immediately too.  As much as we loved Ringo, we did not want him to suffer and we know that God loves him more.  He granted us wisdom, discernment and compassion to know what choices to make in caring for Ringo.

We went with our children to the vet's office.  She said his lungs were failing.  His heartbeat was all over the place.  His legs and hind end were so weak due to poor blood flow.  He was suffering.  Even though when we went there, I knew he wouldn't be coming home with us, I was still a little hopeful that maybe she would give us different news.  Nope.  It was time to say good-bye.  They told us what would happen and she gave him a shot to relax him.  We spent time lying on the floor of the vet's office with him, petting him, crying over him, praying and thanking God for his life and the love that we experienced.  My husband and children then left and I stayed with him until the end.  It was peaceful.  When my husband I and prayed at bedtime, he thanked God for giving us peace.  I am assured that peace only comes from God.  And so does the strength to let go.  And the compassion and knowledge to know when.  

Saying good-bye and letting go of a person or animal that we love is hard.  Our hearts hurt.  I felt my own sadness and it was compounded by watching my husband and children in tears, also grieving the loss of Ringo in our lives.  Yet, I was able to rejoice over the life that Ringo lived!  He was a true gift in our lives and I'm thankful that we were able to allow God's heart to be in us today and that He used our hands and feet to take care of Ringo's life.  And to understand that death sometimes comes sooner than we are ready for.  God's timing is always perfect even when we don't understand.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 
a time to be born and a time to die....a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
a time to mourn and a time to dance...

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2a, 4

Celebrate in Suffering

"More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense."  Ken Keyes

I grew up in a family with pretty open communication and we shared our feelings.  I used to think I was pretty good at communication.  I'm learning that there is still so much to learn!  Humility is a good thing though and I'm willing to be humbled.

I don't know about you, but I have had a habit of mind reading.  It hasn't served me too well.  In fact, it often makes me feel pretty insecure.  It often shuts down my willingness to communicate.  It can become a barrier in my relationships.  And it's pretty silly when I remember that I am not omniscient!  I'm only me.  I can only know what other people are thinking if they share their thoughts with me.  It's God who gets to know ALL thoughts.  And I'm glad.
 

In reflecting on the quote at the top, I realize that there are many times that I feel emotions directly related to relationships based on mind reading and taking offense to something I assume someone else is thinking.  I believe that most of the people in my life do not intentionally cause me to suffer.  They do not intend to offend me if they do. (I'm a little more sensitive at times than I'd like to admit.  And it is good for me to admit this because I know that in my weakness, God's power is perfected.)  If I stop making assumptions and am bold enough to communicate directly with the person - to ask them what they meant by something they said or did, I can discover the truth of their thoughts, if they are willing to share openly with me.  Sometimes I have found I don't want to hear what they say or it stings, but it is easier to deal with knowing the truth than wondering.   And dealing with my own emotions based in truth brings healing to my heart and my relationships whereas suffering from emotions based on assumptions, lies, or false beliefs, is not productive for me or my relationships.  Living in truth gives God the glory!

Hebrews 4:16

NIV

¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

 

The verse above reminds me that I need to turn to God to help me sort through all of my thoughts and feelings.  I am confident that my best defense when I feel offended is to grow in my relationship with Him.  He will reveal to me what I need to know and I know I can trust Him.  His plan for my life is good.  He will cover me with mercy and grace and help me navigate all situations.

Romans 5:3-5

The Voice

3 And that’s not all. We also celebrate in seasons of suffering because we know that when we suffer we develop endurance, 4 which shapes our characters. When our characters are refined, we learn what it means to hope and anticipate God’s goodness. 5 And hope will never fail to satisfy our deepest need because the Holy Spirit that was given to us has flooded our hearts with God’s love.

 

I'm thankful to celebrate in my suffering if it is in truth.  And I pray that God will continue to reveal to me how He communicates and I will continue to be a better communicator, in my relationship with Him and in relationship with the people that He has thoughtfully placed in my life.  

 

Warrior Sisters, Say That Again - I'm thankful that true suffering is for my good and I can rejoice in it, knowing that it produces endurance, character and hope!
 

Give Thanks

I've come to really appreciate the idea of giving thanks in all circumstances.  It helps me find the good and the beautiful and the growth and opportunities amidst the challenges and the messes.  This last week hasn't been particularly challenging or messy for me, but I have witnessed big challenges and messes for others.  I'm thankful that God really is good and He loves us through all things.

Continuing with giving thanks:

21.  making lemon bars with my precious 91 year old grandma

22.  sitting with a friend while she cried and poured her heart out

23.  connecting more over little things with my husband

24.  raking in my backyard

25.  sitting with my aging dog in the warm sunshine

26.  witnessing God bring healing to relationships

27.  pausing to hold my oldest child on my lap after dinner

28.  watching my youngest in his imaginary play, battling the bad guys

29.  early morning walks to spend time talking with God

30.  the lovely, colorful, blooming flowers of springtime!

Warrior Sister Saints, Say that Again -- we are blessed and it is good to give the Lord thanks!

Alive, Crazy and Thankful 4.22.14

Last week was Holy week, beginning with Palm Sunday and ending with what many call Easter Sunday.  I was fortunate to attend church services this past week in three different locations, yet all about Jesus.  I shared some of my thoughts about worshiping in a variety of settings with some of my family while we were eating together.  How wonderful that as "the church", a body of believers, we can gather in many places - some small, some big, some beautiful, some not, some with loud praise music, some with softer hymns, some with caffeinated pastors, some with decaf pastors, sometimes standing up, sometimes sitting down.  Yet what unites us is Jesus.  His life, His death, His resurrection.  And what all of that means for each of us as children of God.

Easter Sunday was clearly defined by the pastor I listened to this year as Resurrection Sunday.  The pastor is a dynamic guy who makes "the text" come alive.  He reminded us that the reason we celebrate Easter is because of Jesus' resurrection from the dead.  He shared that sometimes people complain about their spiritual life being boring.  Wake up believers!  The power that raised Jesus from the dead is alive in us.  If we are truly living a regenerate life, our lives will not be boring.

The pastor said "God's dreams for me are straight up crazy".  This may mean that I'm not comfortable.  It may mean I take big risks.  It may mean I'm vulnerable and I may get hurt.  It may mean that I risk everything for a relationship, knowing that the other person has no idea how to be a friend or to love.  It may mean other people think I'm crazy.  But it's ok.  I'm surrendering the old me, for a new me - one completely crazy for the One who died for me.  And He did it because of LOVE.    I want to live alive for love, Jesus.  I don't want to settle for boring.  I'm good with crazy.  I desire to see with His eyes, hear with His ears, be His hands and feet in this world and have a heart and mind like Him.

Colossians 3:1-4 The Message (MSG)

3 ^1-2 So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

^3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

Continuing my gratitude list, here are 10 more things I'm thankful for:

11.   God's dreams for me are bigger and crazier than any I can imagine for myself

12.   A wonderful Easter weekend with family

13.   My older son's joy over mastering a pogo stick

14.   My dog's delight in having his head and ears rubbed and wagging his tail in response

15.   Worshiping in new and different places

16.   Reconnecting with an old friend over a yummy lunch

17.   Knowing that hard things are good

18.   The hum of my dryer drying my family's clothes

19.   Spring flowers blooming in their bright colors

20.   Living this new resurrection life with Christ!

Warrior Sisters, Say That Again -- I'm thankful that the power that raised Jesus from the dead is alive in us.  May we live in love and in His resurrection!

Weekend Gratitude 4-13-14

Thank God no matter what happens

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (The Message)

I like to be thankful, at all times.  Sometimes are harder than others.  Yesterday we were zooming off to the second soccer field for the day and I had carefully placed my full cup of smoothie on my lap so I could put on my sunglasses.  A car pulled out in front of my husband and he had to brake hard and quick to avoid a collision.  My smoothie cup continued moving forward as law of motion would have it and it ended up on the seat and all over the bag full of snacks for all the little soccer players.  Ugh!  I had a partial container of wet wipes in the car and my husband pulled into a gas station parking lot for me to grab some more paper towels.  I spent the rest of the drive doing my best to clean up the mess and wipe off the snacks and drinks so they wouldn't be so sticky.  Before we arrived at the soccer field, we were all singing random versions of a banana song and laughing.  It was good.

"God is good... at all times.  And at all times...God is good."  This is a line heard many times in the movie God's Not Dead which we recently went to see.  There were some really tough, emotional things that happened to characters in the movie and I won't spoil the movie for you by telling you all of them (although I do encourage you to go see it!).  There are tough things that happen to each of us in life.  I've lived through many periods of brokenness, sadness, frustration, fear and doubt.  Sometimes it takes longer, but I'm always able to look back and be thankful.  A big tough thing for me was living through breast cancer surgeries and treatments in my late 20's.  I'm thankful for all the blessings God placed in my life during that journey, thankful that I'm still alive and that I celebrated 40 years of life a few months ago.  I think life continues to get better although still no guarantees about easy.

As I reflect on my day yesterday and the smoothie mess, I'm thankful for many things:

1. I woke up early in my home and had the freedom to sit and read my Bible
2. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping
3. I'm married to a wonderful man and have 2 healthy children
4. It was sunny and not cold and not raining for our first day of spring soccer! (unusual in north Idaho)
5. I have plenty of food in my home to feed my family 
6. My husband hit the brakes and I got a smoothie mess instead of all of us having a car accident
7. We still made it to soccer on time and the snacks and drinks were all wiped up
8. We were able to sing and be silly in the midst of the little mess
9. We were together as a family in our car that we are blessed to drive
10. Oh, did I mention that I'm thankful that God is good... at all times!  And at all times... God is good!

I've been paying a lot of attention to song lyrics lately and may continue to add links to my posts with songs that I really like.  Francesca Battistelli has a great song that has come to mind many times lately when I have felt frustrated over little things - and even when I've felt big emotions over bigger things.

It is called This Is The Stuff  

One line says: "in the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed"

Whether it is battling breast cancer or wiping up sticky smoothie messes on our way to soccer games, I don't want to ever forget how big I'm blessed!  I am going to follow another blogging friend who writes weekly gratitude posts so I can continue to notice and share the ways in my life that I am thankful and where I see God at work.  Check back to see what I share and please share a comment about what you are thankful for in your life!  I'd love to hear and praise God with you - for the little things and the big things too.

Warrior Sister Saints, Say that Again -- God is good... at all times.   And at all times... God is GOOD!

Hiking to the Road

For part of spring break, I was fortunate to get away to my family’s cabin on the river.  Sometimes when we go, there are many people with us.  It’s always fun and relaxing.  This time, my husband and I were able to have some time by ourselves and then our children and some of their grandparents came.

One of our favorite things to do is hike and the hillsides of the river canyon provide great opportunities for us to do this.  As my husband and I went on a long hike for several hours, I had time to think about a lot of things and notice the beauty of the creation around me.   There were wildflowers blooming, an eagle soaring way above us, the sound of the river rapids below, birds chirping, clouds changing formations and as we hiked, we could look ahead or behind and the views changed.  I knew we were hiking up to a road.  But it was a road I couldn’t see at all from where we began our hike.

I started thinking about all the fun adventures my husband and I have had high in the mountains.  And also how I sometimes doubt my ability to do what my husband thinks I can, whether it is biking up a steep hill, skiing down an ungroomed powdery slope, or hiking to the top of some peak that I can’t even see.  I trust my husband to not lead me where I am not capable of going.  I know he loves me and won’t leave me.   I know somehow we always have fun.  I sometimes experience a wide range of emotions, including doubt, frustration, and fear.  And I always experience peace, joy and love.

Our hike this time was no different.   Even though we had hiked to the road before, I wasn’t sure if we had enough time before we went down river to pick up our kids.  We took a bit of a different route and it was challenging.  When I started to get tired, we would take a break and drink some water and enjoy looking around.  And my husband would provide encouragement.  I began reflecting on how much I look to my husband to lead in certain circumstances and especially when we hike.  We almost always take a selfie picture at the top of our hikes and lift our hands in praise of our God and His creation. 

As I noticed the wildflowers and the birds and just the sheer beauty of the mountains and valleys, various scripture was coming to mind as well as the song “Help Me Find It” by the Sidewalk Prophets.  I have often prayed the lyrics of that song.  I regularly thank God that He gave me the gift of my husband and I felt especially thankful during our hike.  I trust him and the hiking journey reminded me of trusting God to lead me to the road I should walk.  I know He will help me find it.  I know when I am fearful or doubting, God gives me grace and faith.  I know He provides encouragement through others and His word.  I know He loves me even more than my husband and promises to never leave me nor forsake me.

I also know that sometimes I just need to be still and God gives me peace.  Our time at the cabin was very restful and peaceful.  I’m thankful for so many blessings in my life and right now, I’m particularly thankful for the nice time I had on the river and in the mountains with my family and God.  Thank you Jesus!

Warrior Sister Saints, Say that Again – if there is something we need, we can rely on our trusting, faithful God to help us find it!  He will have His way in our lives!

Here is a link to the song Help Me Find It by Sidewalk Prophets

and some of the lyrics are below:

I will trust in You, You've never failed before

I will trust in You

If there’s a road I should walk,

Help me find it

If I need to be still, 

Give me peace for the moment

Whatever your will, whatever your will, 

Can You help me find it?  Can You help me find it?

Choices and Chances

God clearly loves us and wants us to obey Him.  He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  He always provides just what we need at just the right time.  I'm thankful for all of these things and so much more.

I recently reread the book of Jonah and am amazed at how much is packed into one very short book of the bible.  I have been thinking and praying a lot about the word author and was pondering the many different directions that I could go in writing about the story of Jonah.  One of the blogs that I follow has given a challenge to their readers about writing and teaching.  I have learned that reading is helpful and summarizing what I've read is helpful too, as well as sharing with others. I am not sure that right now I am up to the whole challenge from this other blog I follow (it is a post each Friday), but I believe God is speaking to me about writing more.  So, I'm going to try to write more and hopefully through my writing, my readers will be blessed with learning too.  God is the Author of my life and I trust He will write through me.  I want to share His love and ask Him to love through me each day.

The book of Jonah begins in verses 1 and 2 with these words: The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: "Go to the great city of Ninevah and preach against it, because it's wickedness has come up before me."  But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed to Tarshish.  He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port.  After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed to Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

Wow!  Again, the book of Jonah is short - only 4 chapters.  And the rest of the story has so much to teach us, but I'm going to stay on just those 2 verses for today.  God was SO clear with Jonah about where he wanted him to go, what he wanted him to do, and why he wanted him to do it.  Such clear direction and purpose.  And Jonah ran away.  He found a ship going in the opposite direction of where the Lord told him to go and far away too!  He fled from the Lord.

I often pray for clear direction from God.  It seems to me that clear direction would be the word of the Lord coming to me and telling me, "Go to.... and.... because...".   I am certain I have often given my own children such clear direction and I know I feel frustrated when they don't follow my directions.  I was recently having a conversation with some friends about the challenges of parenting and the frustrations we feel when our children don't listen to what we ask them to do.  Or when they do the complete opposite!  This is an area that I have been challenged with off and on throughout my years of parenting.  Some days are worse than others, for me and for my children.  Some days are great.  I strive to be consistent and always loving, but sometimes I do not succeed.  My friends and I laughed with each other and shared each other's burden about the challenges of parenting.  In the end, we prayed for each other that in all times, especially when we are in challenging times, we will remember to lean into Jesus and rely on Him.

Just as there are times when my children don't do what I ask, I also know that there are times when I hear God speak and yet out of my own selfishness I make my own choice, just like Jonah.  I'm thankful that God loves me so much that He forgives me and continues to provide new opportunities for me to learn - just like He did for Jonah in the rest of the story.

Thank you Jesus that You always made the right choice and set an example for me.  Thank you that you were always obedient to Your Father.  Thank you that you died for me and that you have provided second chances.  Thank you that You love me even when I don't follow the very clear directions you give to me.  Please help me desire the things that you desire and help me become more obedient to what you clearly ask me to do!

Warrior Sister Saints, Say that again - our God loves us and He died for our choices and chances.  My we be obedient and follow Him!

Unkind words and Gossip

In the innocence of childhood, I can remember repeating the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".  This was more than likely in response to someone saying something unkind.  It was a defense that I said and I heard others say too.   I can hear the snarky tone and feel the sarcasm.  Yet I can remember going home one afternoon in elementary school and crying to my mom because of a few unkind words that someone had said to me.  Even though the other child was "teasing" and did like me, the words stung.  And it made me question things about myself.  There have been other times in life when someone's words have pierced my heart.

A few weeks ago, I spent some time with a friend I hadn't seen in a while.  I enjoyed visiting with her.  It was nice to get caught up on what was happening in her life and share with her about my life too.  The conversation turned at some point and another person became the focus.  I found myself feeling uncomfortable.  I am confident the Holy Spirit was whispering to me that I shouldn't engage in gossip.  This was hard because I knew the other person had hurt my friend.  I listened and felt compassion toward her about the hurt she felt.  I tried to not say anything that felt "gossipy".  Eventually she was talking more about the other person and less about the hurt she felt.  I attempted to shift our conversation to other topics.  I am working on becoming more assertive and this was another challenge for me.  I am fairly certain there was more I could have or should have done.  It is nice to know that as I continue to seek His guidance, the Lord will provide.

I have turned many times lately to the book of Ephesians.  I really like it.  Chapter 4 is about Unity in the Body of Christ and Living as Children of Light.  It is full of words of wisdom and ways that we should speak and act as witnesses for Christ.  Paul starts out in verses 1 and 2 saying, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received  Be completely humble and gentle: be patient, bearing with one another in love".

Verse 29 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen".
Verse 31 reminds us "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you".

There have been many times that I have spoke unkind words, often out of my own grumpiness or irritability, not intending to be mean.  There are times that I have been insensitive to others' thoughts and feelings.  There are times when I have yelled because things were out of my control and I felt angry.  There are times that I have gossiped too.

  As I have prayed for God to help me with all of these things, I came across a few other verses in reading that stand out to me.  "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19). And Matthew 15:18 "But the things that come out of the mouth,
 come from the heart".

  I continue to pray for transformation in my life and for God to create in me a pure heart. I want Him to write His story on my heart.  I pray for Him to interrupt my thoughts or speech if I am leaning toward gossip.  I ask Him to help me be humble, to be gentle in my thoughts, words and actions, and to be patient with others.  I have asked Him to help me only speak the truth in love and that what I say may be full of grace to all who hear my words.  I want to help build others up.  And as I have sought forgiveness, I also forgive others.  As a daughter of the King, I am confident that He will continue to help me and guide me as I seek to live according to His Word and His will for my life.

Warrior Sisters, Say that Again - May we speak the truth in love,
 full of grace and build each other up! 

Waiting and Soaring

I love eagles! As long as I can remember, seeing an eagle is one of my favorite things. Each time I see one, my heart lifts. I smile. I often shed a tear. Peace fills my heart. They represent freedom in our country and I am fortunate to live in a part of our country where they migrate each winter. A few weekends ago, I took my boys out around the edge of the lake where we could watch them. It was beautiful. They were perching above the lake in trees, swooping down to catch fish, dancing in the sky with one another and just soaring in the wind. Pretty amazing to watch. I stood in awe at the beauty of God's creation just in the eagles and the lake and the surrounding mountains. I could have stayed for hours. My children were not as enthused as I was and were ready to leave before me. If they hadn't thought to bring alternative entertainment for in the car, they wouldn't have

wanted to wait on their mom! 

I wonder what it would be like to soar on wings like eagles? to just ride the wind and dance in the sky? I do know what it is like to put my trust in God. To wait on him. To hope. He comes through every time. Not always in the ways I desire or expect, but he is always faithful. His timing is always perfect. Sometimes waiting tests our patience and it is good. It allows us opportunities to have experiences we might not have if we rush. Just like my leisurely watching of the eagles.

In reading different versions of Isaiah 40:31, the words wait, hope and "put trust in" are all used - the outcome is the same: strength from the Lord!

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. 

They spread their wings and soar like eagles,

They run and don’t get tired,

they walk and don’t lag behind. 

                                                                                  (The Message)

but those who hope in the Lord 

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

                                                                                         (New International Version)

This is one of the first verses I memorized and I really like it. There have been times that I have been able to call up this verse to help myself or to share with someone else. In the last year, I have been challenged in some of my closest relationships. I have felt a lot of emotions. I have cried many tears. I have cried out to God. I have been encouraged by Him to make some changes. I have prayed for truth to be revealed to me and in answering that prayer, God has shown me where I've made some mistakes. He led me to be truthful with others in ways I hadn't been even though to me it felt risky. I had to trust in Him that somehow he would give me the strength and walk me through it. It hasn't been easy, but

 I've remained hopeful and some days I feel like I'm soaring on wings like eagles.

Warrior Sisters, Say that again - I'll continue to put my trust in the Lord and see

how He will renew my strength and help me soar!

These pictures are courtesy of my friend Cheryl Nichols who is a professional photographer. Her website is www.cherylnicholsphotography.com

New Beginnings

Welcome to my first ever typed-out blog post!  I've composed many blog posts in my head, but never written them out.  So on the first day of a new year, this begins a new season for me, a new chapter in my life.   I am choosing the word Author to focus on for a while - to write about, pray about and see how God will use it in my life.  He is The Author and has written my story.  I look forward to seeing how He will write through me.

I have been contemplating this blogging thing for a while and have put it off.  I have a bad habit of putting things off.  Yes, I procrastinate.  It's an addiction for me.  I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this out and have asked for God to reveal truth to me.  At the beginning of last year, I chose the word "order" and asked God to bring order to my life, order to my thoughts, order to my steps each day.  I picked the word order because I often do not feel like things are in order in my life.  Despite not liking to live amongst clutter, I continue to make piles of stuff.  My husband is mildly annoyed by this habit, but mostly laughs and jokes with me about it and tries to encourage me.  God has helped me with order in my life over the last year in different ways than I expected.  So far, my habit of pile making hasn't changed a whole lot, but I see how God has helped me find order in many other areas of my life, and it is good.

In focusing on the word Author and seeing how I have put off blogging, I have prayed about this too.  I have discovered that even though I used to think I didn't worry about the opinions of others, that I really do.  Sometimes I live in fear of what others might think or if I will disappoint them.  Really as a daughter of the King, I only need to be concerned with what He thinks.  A friend recently reminded me that even when I make mistakes and even when I am afraid, that God is not disappointed in me.  I cried as I listened to her and I questioned that.  I am working to accept that Truth is truth regardless of how I feel.  God loves me and accepts me completely and unconditionally!

Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."

So, I am stepping out in faith, asking Him for courage and boldness in writing.  Since He is the Author and he does deliver on His promises, I trust He will continue to guide me.  He will write through me!  He has written my life story.  He knows all the details.  He knows the changes to come.  He knows what I need.  He is Amazing!  And I am thankful.

In Hebrews 12, we are told that Jesus is the author and perfector of faith.  As I reflect on my life and also look ahead, I am glad this is true.  As the new year begins, I am excited about the possibilities to come in my life story.  How about you?

Warrior Sister Saints, Say that Again - He is the Author of my life and I am thankful!