"More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense." Ken Keyes
I grew up in a family with pretty open communication and we shared our feelings. I used to think I was pretty good at communication. I'm learning that there is still so much to learn! Humility is a good thing though and I'm willing to be humbled.
I don't know about you, but I have had a habit of mind reading. It hasn't served me too well. In fact, it often makes me feel pretty insecure. It often shuts down my willingness to communicate. It can become a barrier in my relationships. And it's pretty silly when I remember that I am not omniscient! I'm only me. I can only know what other people are thinking if they share their thoughts with me. It's God who gets to know ALL thoughts. And I'm glad.
In reflecting on the quote at the top, I realize that there are many times that I feel emotions directly related to relationships based on mind reading and taking offense to something I assume someone else is thinking. I believe that most of the people in my life do not intentionally cause me to suffer. They do not intend to offend me if they do. (I'm a little more sensitive at times than I'd like to admit. And it is good for me to admit this because I know that in my weakness, God's power is perfected.) If I stop making assumptions and am bold enough to communicate directly with the person - to ask them what they meant by something they said or did, I can discover the truth of their thoughts, if they are willing to share openly with me. Sometimes I have found I don't want to hear what they say or it stings, but it is easier to deal with knowing the truth than wondering. And dealing with my own emotions based in truth brings healing to my heart and my relationships whereas suffering from emotions based on assumptions, lies, or false beliefs, is not productive for me or my relationships. Living in truth gives God the glory!
Hebrews 4:16
NIV
16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
The verse above reminds me that I need to turn to God to help me sort through all of my thoughts and feelings. I am confident that my best defense when I feel offended is to grow in my relationship with Him. He will reveal to me what I need to know and I know I can trust Him. His plan for my life is good. He will cover me with mercy and grace and help me navigate all situations.
Romans 5:3-5
The Voice
3 And that’s not all. We also celebrate in seasons of suffering because we know that when we suffer we develop endurance, 4 which shapes our characters. When our characters are refined, we learn what it means to hope and anticipate God’s goodness. 5 And hope will never fail to satisfy our deepest need because the Holy Spirit that was given to us has flooded our hearts with God’s love.
I'm thankful to celebrate in my suffering if it is in truth. And I pray that God will continue to reveal to me how He communicates and I will continue to be a better communicator, in my relationship with Him and in relationship with the people that He has thoughtfully placed in my life.
Warrior Sisters, Say That Again - I'm thankful that true suffering is for my good and I can rejoice in it, knowing that it produces endurance, character and hope!
